Stag Do(s) and Don’ts

Last week, I said I’d recap Mr. Sword’s bachelor/stag party but it’s going to be a bit difficult because HE FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES.  Clearly, he’s not meant to be a blogger like myself.

Mr. Sword had quite the weekend though!  I guess they drank at their rented home away from home, drank at the local bars, went on a whiskey tour, sang karaoke, and the cops only showed up once.  Success!!  😉

I did manage to steal one photo from Facebook, and luckily, it’s a tame one.  This was taken at a Whiskey distillery in Keith, Scotland.  The story goes that not everyone was feeling well enough to go on the tour the next morning.  Hehe.

Mr. Sword and friends/ photo by Best Man Doc

And keeping with my theme, here are some Stag Do(s) and Don’ts!


DO rent a chalet (house) in the middle of nowhere to ensure one rockin’ good time.

In lieu of a photo I have this quote from one of our groomsmen: “Turns out a stag in the middle of nowhere with little planned is absolute carnage. Ruined.”


DON’T be afraid to invite over everyone in the bar to your rented chalet to party until the wee hours of the morning.  Mr. Sword said that everyone in Keith is insanely nice and were really fun.  I say, inviting strangers over to my house (rented or not) is the last thing I’d ever do!  Clearly, I’m not very friendly though.


DO take lots of shots and play lots of snooker.  (Snooker = pool table.)  Mr. Sword said he didn’t get sick even though he drank in excess and stayed up all night.  It’s gotta be that Scottish blood.  I felt sick hearing about the amount of liquor he ingested.

Again, here’s a quote from a different groomsmen, “The town of Keith has broken me. I am a shadow of a man. A shadow.”


DON’T forget to thank your awesome Best Man for throwing one hell of a Stag party!  (For the record, Mr. Sword didn’t forget and got him a personalized cigar holder.)  Best Man Doc has a PhD (hence his nickname), and has been an awesome friend to Mr. Sword for many years.  In fact, all of Mr. Sword’s buddies back home are really great guys and I’m excited to party with them in Minnesota in a few short months!  Is it March yet??

When I told my future father-in-law that I’m excited both Mr. Sword and I have such great memories from our parties, he replied with, “Yes, but I think Mr. Sword’s memories are a bit fuzzier than yours.”  HAHA.  So true.

Miss Sword Wedding Tip: I recommend scheduling your stag/hen parties for the same weekend if you can, it’s nice to be busy with your friends while they’re busy with theirs, plus then you get to share that special weekend with your partner even if you’re not physically with them!

Do you know what happened at your partner’s bachelor/bachelorette party?  Did anyone else’s guy go away for a long weekend?  Who wants to party in Keith now?

Ending my Hen Do!

I’ve decided there’s no better time to post a picture of myself eating a penis cookie than during Thanksgiving week when most of you are out spending time with your families, cooking, traveling, and overall just enjoying the holiday.  Win win.

I am one classy broad

Yep, those chocolate sprinkles definitely represent what you think they represent.  MOH Big Eyes left no stone un-turned.  She also made rice crispy penis treats too, but they were a bit too hard.  That’s what no woman said, ever.  (Wow, I’m on fire.)

Hive, please excuse my crass and photo-heavy post.  I’m in quite the bad mood and need a break from life.

Mr. Sword just arrived back from his Stag Do in Scotland on Monday night (updates on that to follow next week!), only to find out he has to fly BACK to the UK this coming weekend.  He’s needed in England for a few workshops, and I’m stuck here moaning about it.  I take that back, I’m actually attempting to be the strong one, but my definition of being the “strong one” is taking a break from whining every ten minutes or so.  WOE IS ME!!!  🙂

Poor Mr. Sword has to switch back to their 6 hour ahead time zone and travel all night on a plane before being expected to be awake and alert for a new job on Monday morning.  Then after the week of workshops in England, his team starts their real work in Kansas City which means we begin our semi LDR relationship.  You’ll remember I’ve already complained about that here.

Before I leave you with all the photos, let me say a few things: I searched EVERYWHERE for the perfect little white dress, and found one at Charlotte Russe for 15 dollars exactly one week before the big day.  It was very Mr. Sword approved and very under budget!

The pictures may lead you to believe otherwise but I only had about 3 drinks all night.  I swear.

Dancing the night away as a hen/bachelorette was pretty amazing!  I loved telling everyone, “I’m getting married!” and blowing my penis whistle.

Below are my memories.  Enjoy.

Wedding Trivia Pictionary

food and spectators

Stuffing my dress with the best favors EVER

Ready to go out and looking a bit nakey

riding the CTA in style

my stunning sister

umm yea…

H Bomb is the best dancer in the world

busting moves, like I do

We tried to get photos with the guys that congratulated me… most of them thought it was my birthday. Weird.

pretty ladies

I love this set of sisters!

the bouncer let me hold his bad-ass flashlight

end of the night shenanigans

the party didn’t stop when we got home

welp, this is what I looked like the next morning

Now that I’ve plastered obscene and embarrassing photos of myself online, I’m gonna go punch myself in the face and pray I never need another job interview, EVER.  Just kidding, I promised I’d share everything on the blog, and I couldn’t leave this stuff out.  Hope you had a few laughs!  I know I did.

OH, and Happy Turkey Day Friends!


Miss Sword

Hen Do(s) and Don’ts

That’s right hive!  I had my very kick-ass day of fun bachelorette party this past weekend (and to be honest I’m still trying to recover)!

OH MY WORD MOH Big Eyes blew me away with an amazing day that was equal parts girly, sexy, naughty, and fun!  Not even lying, I’m pretty sure I heard the words, “this is the best bachelorette party ever and by the looks of it everyone had a total blast.

Sister Big Eyes is a teacher and came prepared with a lesson plan of sorts, and because of her easy to use Google RSVP document, everyone was able to respond “yes” or “no” to each event and stop in when they could throughout the day.  There were various activities to take part in around the city until the evening when we ended the day at my apartment with games, gifts, and treats before going out dancing.

Note her princess folder for this princess-inspired affair. So organized!

Instead of doing a lengthy recap of the day, I’m going to break it down by giving you some Hen DO’s and Hen Don’ts!! (Hen Do is the UK term for bachelorette party in case I haven’t made that clear yet.)


DO buy cute princess headbands from an Etsy shop to represent each lady of your amazing bridal party (which for me includes bridesmaids, honor attendants, a flower girl, girl cousin usher, and girl cousin who is carrying our remembrance flowers).  We forgot to get a photo of all 10 of them, but hopefully you can tell which princesses are represented in this picture below.  I was so impressed with MOH Big Eye’s creativity and I got even more excited when she said she plans for us to wear them again at the rehearsal dinner and other pre-wedding related activities.  I’m seriously in love with them and think they’re a subtle yet touching way to highlight the bridal party.

BM L Dawg (Snow White), Miss Sword (Cinderella), MOH Big Eyes (Belle)


DON’T start your day with anything but pampering!  I think I’ve mentioned before how I live for manicures and pedicures, but loathe getting my hair cut?  Well, MOH Big Eyes knows this and that’s why we started the day getting our nails done.  I have to give a shout out to Juko for living up to their awesome reviews and treating us all like rock stars.

Miss Sword’s mani


DO enjoy a lovely brunch and ignore rude waiters who fail to listen to you and provide less than adequate service even though it’s your party day.


DON’T forget to stop and take LOTS OF PICTURES!


DO pretend to like the makeup that the artist puts on you at Nordstrom because she really likes it, and she really wants you to like it too.  Also ask your friend to not be offended when she tells said friend that she needs to be the Kelly to your Beyoncé because it’s your bachelorette night.  Wow.


DON’T fight with your little sister, no matter how annoying she may be.

Look at those BIG EYES!

Just kidding!  We had a perfect day together.

I highly recommend doing a pre-planned day of events for your party if you A) have a lot of friends from different groups/cities/walks of life that you want to invite, and B) if you know you have a core group that will be able to be there for everything (which I did, thank you MN girls, H Bomb, and C Fri who was there in spirit due to flight complications!).

Next up, party games, penis paraphernalia, and dancing the night away!

Did you do a day-long bachelorette extravaganza?  Anyone else celebrate in Chi-town?  What do you think of the headbands?