As I started thinking about this series I began to curse myself for being such an open book. Don’t I over-share already? Won’t everyone know this or that by now? Of course that’s a silly way to think, because there’s always more to share!
And then I stumbled on the real reason I don’t have many secrets: I’M LAME. I don’t have a tattoo, a strange addiction, or a unique talent, or a weird family situation, but luckily I’m a trooper and I was able to scrounge up three embarrassing tidbits to share with the Hive. You’re welcome.
1. I have “chronic bitch attitude” when I walk down the street alone. It’s a bit like chronic bitch face, and please reference the ever-hilarious Mrs. Unicycle for her take on chronic bitch face. Have I said chronic bitch enough times yet? Geez.
The thing is when I’m walking with Mr. Sword, my nanny kiddos, or a couple of girlfriends, I’m one happy gal. I’m friendly and I smile; life.is.good. But for some reason when I walk alone I encompass this rude big city ‘tude and I’m kind of unpleasant.
To make matters worse, I walk around Chicago daily. I mean, I do a lot of walking. And because I walk by a ton of people, I end up getting hit on a decent amount. It’s bizarre but true, I still get hollered at despite looking like I’m walking around with a stick up my ass. Instead of feeling complimented (like I am when I’m not alone) I usually make the “Eww” face and continue on my way with a shudder. HOW DARE THEY HIT ON ME!?!?!
If people try to ask me for directions (a bad idea in the first since I barely know where I’m going half the time) I am really hesitant and unsure. Who are you? Why are you talking to me?
I’m also really bad at making small talk in general but I’m especially bad at it on long elevator rides. I would never intentionally talk about something as boring as the weather, so if I bring it up you know I’m desperate.
Social skills FAIL.
2. I have a small obsession with the Amish Culture. When I say small, I really mean, huge. First off, I’ve read about ten books by New York Times Bestseller, Beverly Lewis, author of Amish novels inspired by her experience growing up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Lewis writes these dramatic and spiritual books about her mother’s Plain heritage and I literally can’t put them down! She writes about their struggles in such a personal way, and to be honest, I find a forbidden Amish love story to be way more intriguing than any vampire, zombie, or werewolf version of the same.
I haven’t read any of her books in a while (been planning a wedding yo), but recently my favorite TV channel, TLC, premiered a new show, Breaking Amish, and it’s rocked my world every Sunday for the past few weeks.
Now I know there are some rumors floating around about the show, and I understand that reality TV is often times scripted, but watching their stories unfold and hearing about their life growing up in the Amish community is really interesting to me.
I’ve always been fascinated with history and learning about other cultures. And for the record, just because I’m intrigued by different lifestyles doesn’t mean I’m agreeing with them. I do think we can all be respectful of each other’s differences, and educate ourselves to be less ignorant. When you know more about where someone comes from, it’s harder to judge them.
3. My friends and I always have the most INAPPROPRIATE nicknames for each other. Like, it’s bad, super embarrassing, and I can’t believe I’m sharing this with the world.
High School: DGLB’s (Damn Good Looking Babes) While DGLB didn’t stick around after leaving high school, a few of our individual nicknames DID stick. See, we made these names for each other and it’s still fun to use them to this day. In the picture below, the friend on the left is Crabby and the friend on the right is Fatty. (My name is long forgotten although I’m pretty sure it was equally as disturbing.) And yes, we know Fatty isn’t fat. That’s why it’s funny. (Please don’t send me hate mail. We were all stupid when we were younger.)
These two girls were my best friends from middle school to high school and we’re still friends now. We’ve been though so much together, and I love them to the death. This is the three of us in LA and that’s me in the middle with a spray tan.
Clearly this name gets us a lot of attention and not the good kind. But it doesn’t mean what you think it means. It was actually a group of girlfriends that I met through my campus ministry. See, Christians can have fun too! STD is merely an acronym for “Stomach Touching Damsels,” because we all used to touch tummies like Karen and Jack on the hit show, Will and Grace. Does anyone remember that episode??
While we never touch tummies anymore (thankfully), we still use the STD name quite often when referring to the group. So much so that when I was emailing H Bomb about my Save the Dates for the wedding she thought I was referring to our group of friends. Oops.
In a large group of girlfriends (I doubt men do this!), it’s always easier to have a group name instead of saying everyone’s individual name each time you are referring to the same group of people.
And it doesn’t seem weird to us anymore, I swear! The STD’s were such an important part of my early 20’s (that sounds weird), and the friendships I made in college helped shape the woman I am today. AWW.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of STD’s and it’s proving too difficult to find a semi-recent, good quality (not embarrassing) photo. So instead I leave with you with me and H Bomb. She’s one of my besties and you’ll see her face around Weddingbee in the future as she’s also one of my honor attendants in the wedding!
Post-College: Sister Wives
I (we) named us after the TLC show Sister Wives because we used to get together to watch every episode as sort of a weekly Sunday night treat. I know what you’re thinking, polygamy!?! Again, I can explain!
The concept of women helping each other care for each other’s families and be supportive fans of each other’s lives is the concept that I enjoy from that show. Thus, Sister Wives is a pretty decent name for a group of friends that care about and support each other. And NO, none of us share men. That would be weird. It’s just a funny name! (Note: Please see my paragraph on respecting the Amish before saying anything bad about the Fundamentalist Mormons.)
It’s hard to get all of us in one photo, but here are most of S Wives in two photos! These girls and I have navigated this city together for many holidays, birthdays, girls nights, engagements, and four weddings by the time March rolls around! It’s been a blast.
(all photos personal unless otherwise noted)
So, there ya have it. A few of my secrets. Does anyone else walk with an attitude, have a love of the Amish, or weird nicknames with their friends? Do share!